


You Can Stay The Night

by wastelanderness



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life, Half-Life but the AI is Self-Aware
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25412989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wastelanderness/pseuds/wastelanderness
Summary: It had been eight days, five hours, and thirty-two minutes since Gordon Freeman escaped Black Mesa with his life but minus a hand. He was just gonna try to get on with his life post-Resonance Cascade and battle on Xen. And then a certain security guard knocking on his front door fucked everything up.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 322





	You Can Stay The Night

**Author's Note:**

> GOD AFTER LIKE,,, FUCKIN TWO WEEKS I FINALLY FINISH THIS AND POST IT,,, this was gonna be like 3k words and then i kept going and it turned into a 6k behemoth but oh well i love frenrey and my hyperfixation is hlvrai so who cares babey!!! 
> 
> anyway im gonna write a few of my own headcanons that are why i wrote the shit i did in here at the end so it's not spoilers!! also theres a bit of my own headcanons kinda tossed in throughout bc i have A Lot of Them!!
> 
> you can find me on twitter where i post my art (@painterskies) or my tumblr (@coolattaa)!! 
> 
> if you enjoy this, i'd love to know!! i worked hella hard on this and this is my longest fic in like a long time so yeah!!

_Eight days, five hours, and thirty-two minutes…_

That’s how long it had been since Gordon Freeman escaped out from the horror-filled, sprawling laboratory called Black Mesa. 

He had been through some real _shit_. 

He killed numerous soldiers. He got hardly any sleep and the only sleep he did get was fitful, not to mention his entire body was still ached from sleeping on concrete. His HEV suit had been beat to hell and back, covered in grime and blood and scuff marks. And, to top it all off, he had been betrayed and _one of his goddamn hands got cut off_. (By some miracle, before their time at Chuck E. Cheese, G-Man had presented him a prosthetic hand and as soon as Gordon attached it, he made sure to store his machine-gun hand attachment in, ironically, a Black Mesa-branded box then stuffed it into the deepest recesses of his closet where he never wanted to see it again.)

And here he was. Laying in bed at four in the morning. Thinking about his time escaping the facility. He was lucky he didn’t have anywhere to be anymore. He kinda just… did his own thing now. No more getting up early to get to Black Mesa and do paperwork and work on whatever else was assigned to him. Just… lots of time playing video games and ordering takeout.

Gordon rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and slid out of his bed. It was too early to get up, but he figured if he took a piss and then crawled back under the covers, he might be able to get a couple extra hours of sleep before he got up for the day.

Then, he heard it.

Pounding on his front door.

Gordon’s heart felt like it was going to explode out of his chest. Had someone involved with Black Mesa or the military tracked him down? Was it the cops? God, he _really_ hoped it wasn’t the cops.

The scientist grabbed the baseball bat from next to his bedside (he had owned a gun, but he pawned that shit off practically as soon as he returned to his apartment and opted for something less dangerous) and made his way to the front door. He could see the light from the hallway through the crack at the bottom of his door. 

But Gordon noticed something else. A small bubble of dull green light had slid its way through the crack in the door and hovered for a second then dissolved into nothingness. 

The realization of who was on the other side of the door slammed into Gordon like a freight train.

“This isn’t happening,” Gordon muttered to himself. He sat the bat down and fisted his hand in his hair. “This _isn’t_ happening right now.” He considered pinching himself to see if this was all just a bad dream, but something deep in his mind told him that this, in fact, was real.

“hey, feetman, lemme in already,” an all-too-familiar voice piped up from outside the door. “bubby’s stayin’ with his dumb boyfriend coomer now that he’s tube-less and they refused to let me in and, ummm, tommy an’ sunkist’s actually still livin’ with tommy’s dad and, it’s like. cringe to say, but you’re all i got left.” 

Gordon grit his teeth. There was no fucking way he was going to let fucking _Benrey_ into his apartment. Had they forgotten _everything_ they had done? Everything they _put him through_?

“No, Benrey, go _home_ ,” Gordon snapped. “I don’t care where the fuck you go. Stay the hell away from me.”

“yeah, i, uhhh, guess i get that,” Benrey said. They said it just loud enough that Gordon could catch the words through the wooden door. “well, i could stay in the rubble of black mesa. i’ll make me a blanket out of concrete. weave me a blanket outta rebar.”

Gordon pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel a headache coming on. “Benrey, you…Goddammit. There’s literally nowhere else you can stay? Where the fuck did you live before Black Mesa fuckin’ went to shit?”

“uhhhhh, that’s co-confidential information, feetman,” Benrey replied. Gordon rolled his eyes.

He wasn’t exactly sure what to make of that, but he decided not to dwell on it for too long. With a heavy sigh, the scientist unlocked the door and swung it open.

As soon as he opened it, the former security guard who had made his life a living hell was standing in front of him. 

If Gordon was being honest, they looked like shit. The hair peeking out from under their helmet was matted and Gordon could see that there was still dried blood and unidentifiable liquids coating their vest and pants and boots. The scientist also noted that they were carrying a Black Mesa-branded duffle bag that looked practically empty.

“heyyyyyy, there’s my favorite gamer,” Benrey said with a wide smile. Gordon considered slamming the door right in their face at the utterance of that greeting, but he turned around and motioned for the guard to follow him inside. They toed out of their boots and left them by the front door, shutting the door behind them. 

“Look,” Gordon said as he turned to face Benrey. “I'm not gonna let you stay here forever. Find your own damn apartment and let me get on with my life. You’re just _lucky_ Joshua isn’t with me for the weekend. Because if he was here, I wouldn't have let you in, that’s for damn sure.” 

Benrey blinked a few times before they smirked and strode past Gordon. They unceremoniously dumped their duffle bag on the floor and flopped onto the couch.

“nice bachelor pad you got here, big guy,” the guard said. “i expected more gamer merch. what kinda cringe things do you get up to in here anyway?” 

Gordon decided to completely ignore the question.

“I’m gonna go crawl back in my bed. It’s fucking almost… five in the morning now,” Gordon muttered, looking at the wall clock in the living room. “Just fuckin’ chill out here. We can talk more in the morning.”

And with that, Gordon shuffled back to his bed. He quickly took off his prosthetic and crawled back under his covers. And, before passing out, he swore he could hear Benrey’s Sweet Voice from the living room.

* * *

Gordon didn’t wake back up until almost eleven in the morning.

And he smelled coffee.

It took a few seconds for Gordon to shake off the sleep still fogging his brain to remember the events of just a few hours ago. He’d let Benrey into his apartment. Benrey was _in his apartment_.

The scientist quickly threw on his favorite sweatpants - immediately realizing that he must have let Benrey into his apartment while wearing only his MIT Alumni shirt and a pair of boxers, oh _God_ , he wanted to die - and screwed on his prosthetic hand and made his way to the kitchen. He could heard Benrey humming. As Gordon got closer, he could see that Benrey’s back was to him and little orbs of Sweet Voice were coming from his mouth. The orbs shifted from a light pink color to robin’s-egg blue and Gordon made a mental note to shoot a text to Tommy about what they meant later.

“Benrey, what - what are you doing?” Benrey tensed slightly and turned around, the Sweet Voice immediately stopping. The orbs that had been floating around the other person’s form immediately popped and disappeared.

“i’m fuckin’ making us _coffee_ , feetman, jeez, be a little more _appreciative_ ,” they snorted as they thrust a mug of coffee toward Gordon. And, as if by some weird coincidence, they had put Gordon’s coffee in his favorite mug - a mug from the conference he went to at the Aperture Labs headquarters in Michigan a few years back. 

Benrey took a swig of their coffee, Gordon instantly blushing when he noticed that they decided to use the mug Gordon owned that said “Certified Bisexual Disaster” on it. 

He remembered the times where Benrey had been overtly flirty with him during their time in Black Mesa, but he didn’t really think they had feelings for Gordon. They were just doing it to get a reaction out of him. Yeah. That’s what Gordon was gonna tell himself, at least. Benrey was a little shit. Gordon hated their sharp-toothed smile and their slightly chubby, soft-looking body and especially hated those dark tufts of hair that stuck out just a bit from the sides of their helmet and…

Gordon mentally kicked himself. Those feelings for Benrey died when they were the reason one of Gordon’s fucking _hands_ was cut off, not to mention the giant version of them that Gordon and the rest of the Science Team had to fight. Benrey wasn’t good. Benrey definitely wasn’t attractive to Gordon Freeman. Absolutely not.

“uhhhh, earth to feetman,” Benrey said, waving a hand in front of the scientist’s face. Gordon blinked a few times. Shit, he’d spaced out. “i fuckin’ asked if i could borrow your shower.”

“Oh, um, yeah. Sure. Go for it,” Gordon babbled. He felt his face begin to burn. The image of what Benrey possibly looked like naked popped into Gordon’s mind and he swiftly stopped his mind from dwelling on it further. Nope. Not now. _No fucking way._

“epic,” they said simply. They downed the rest of their coffee before shuffling over to the duffle bag they had brought with them last night. Gordon watched as they pulled a pair of black sweatpants and a slightly ratty grey t-shirt out and headed towards the bathroom. Gordon made sure not to look at Benrey’s ass as they bent down. “alright, i’m gonna shower now. gonna scrub-a-dub-dub in feetman’s tub. try not to think too hard about me being naked in your bathroom.”

Gordon’s face immediately turned beet red. Maybe Benrey was going to be the death of him after all.

* * *

_**Gordon (me)**_  
Hey, Tommy  
Can you tell me what pink to blue means in Sweet Voice

 _ **Tommy**_   
pink to blue means “i really like you”!!!!  
does this mean benrey is staying w/ you????

  
_**Gordon (me)**_  
Oh…  
You sure that’s what that means  
You’re not just fucking with me, right

 _ **Tommy**_  
of course not, mr. freeman!!!   
i promise i wouldn’t lie!!!!

 _ **Gordon (me)**_  
Well  
Okay  
Thanks  
Talk to you later

 _ **Tommy**_   
have fun w/ benrey!!!!!!  
(Read 11:13AM)

  
He read over Tommy’s text message what felt like a thousand times.

Benrey…had feelings for him? No. There was no way… or maybe there was?

Gordon decided to not think about it anymore. The feelings he had for stupid, awful Benrey were gone. At least that was what Gordon was gonna tell himself. The scientist shoved his phone into the pocket of his sweatpants and carded a hand through his hair.

It was just a few more days and then he never, ever had to see or talk to Benrey again. As soon as they got their own place, Gordon was home free. 

He could make it.

* * *

“I can watch him, but it… isn’t a good time,” Gordon begged into the phone, pacing the floor of his kitchen. His eyes darted over to where Benrey was laying on the couch using Gordon’s PS4 to mindlessly practice combos in Tekken 7.

“ _Gordon_. This overnight trip for work has come up all of a sudden and you’re the last option I have to watch Joshua. You just said you can do it but you also can’t?” his ex-wife prodded. “What’s with you?”

Gordon considered for a moment about filling her in on the whole situation. She knew that he had lost a hand due to a “work-related accident” and, not long after, Black Mesa was destroyed in what was reported to the media as “a massive fire”. But then he figured telling his ex-wife that someone who tried to murder him was staying in his house and apparently Gordon kinda had feelings for this person wouldn’t go over well at all.

“But…”

“You need to pick Joshua up from my place in the next two hours. I have to leave soon. It’s not up for discussion, Gordon.”

“Goddammit… Alright, I’m heading over now,” Gordon sighed, heavily. He hung up his cell phone and shuffled back to his bedroom. He changed into some presentable clothes. God, he didn’t wanna do this. Benrey had fucking called Joshua _a little bit shit_. And now they had to meet each other? 

Gordon was going to absolutely lose his mind.

As Gordon made his way to the front door, he noticed that Benrey had paused absolutely demolishing computer-controlled characters in Tekken and was staring at him.

“uhhhhh, leaving me alone in your apartment? bold move, cringeman,” Benrey said, smirking. “where you goin’? gonna bring me a lil’ treat? bring back a treat for sweet lil’ benrey?”

“I… gotta go pick Joshie,” Gordon sighed. He really didn’t wanna admit where he was going, but he decided just showing back up to the apartment with a whole-ass _child_ would only raise more questions. “His mom’s gotta go on an overnight work trip and… I’m the only one who can watch him.” 

Gordon expected a totally over-the-top reaction from the former security guard. He expected laughter and teasing. But instead, Benrey just stared at Gordon, wide-eyed. He noticed that Benrey was starting to get really fidgety.

“joshie? who the… wait, like, your kid, joshua?” Benrey inquired. “he’s, uhh, he's coming here?” Suddenly, their eyes were looking everywhere expect at Gordon.

“Uhh… yeah, Benrey,” the scientist replied. “What’s the big deal?” At the question, Benrey’s gaze snapped to Gordon. The fidgeting had stopped and they absentmindedly scratched at the inky black mop of hair on their head. (It had taken a couple of days for Benrey to stop wearing their helmet in the apartment and, much to Gordon’s dismay, Gordon liked Benrey more when they weren’t wearing it.)

“it’s not a big deal at all, feetman, f-y-i,” Benrey said, picking the controller back up to continue practicing combos. “just make sure you come back in one piece. can’t, um, play tekken by myself, bro…” 

Gordon watched Benrey for a few seconds longer before grabbing his keys and heading out.

* * *

“So, Joshie, I didn’t tell you earlier, but, um, I… I have a friend staying at the house now,” Gordon mentioned offhandedly. He glanced at Joshua playing on his Switch in the backseat. “ _They_ are… a friend from work actually and, uh, they’re in the process of finding their own place. So they’ve been staying with me for the last week or so. Is… is it gonna be okay that it’s not just the two of us tonight?”

They were almost to Gordon’s house and he felt kinda like a piece of shit for just now mentioning that it wasn’t going to just be the two of them, but he figured - well, he was hoping, if he was being honest with himself - that it wouldn’t be a big deal. Joshua was six and was in elementary school now, after all.

“Are they nice?” Joshie asked, a smile forming on his face. “What’re they like? Did they work in the same area you did, Daddy?” Gordon noticed his son had looked up from his game and was watching him. Immediately, the scientist’s thoughts jumped to all the times Benrey had done something chaotic or purposely hurt or killed people. 

“No, they were a security guard… someone who kept people safe,” Gordon replied. “They… yeah, they’re nice. And… I bet they’d be more than happy to play video games with you!”

The idea of Joshua having someone to play games with him that wasn’t Gordon sent him into overdrive. A grin lit up his whole face and he started excitedly flapping his arms.

“Really?!” Joshua gasped. “Do you know if they like Animal Crossing? I want them to play Animal Crossing with me! I need someone to help me with my island… Oh! But I promise I still like it when you play with me, Daddy!”

Gordon resolved that he was actually going to murder Benrey if they even looked at Joshua the wrong way.

* * *

“Benrey, I’m back,” Gordon called into the apartment, slipping out of his shoes. He sat his keys down and peered into the living room. Benrey was just laying on the couch, scrolling through their phone. When they noticed Gordon was looking at them, they jumped slightly.

“oh, uh, hey, gordon. welcome back,” the security guard said. They slid their phone into their hoodie pocket before getting off the couch. Gordon was trying to focus on introducing Joshie, but his brain was short-circuiting.

Because Benrey had called him… his actual name. 

They didn’t call him any of the usual nicknames. For just a moment, Gordon wasn’t full convinced that the one and only Benrey was in front of him. _Had someone killed Benrey and replaced them with a nicer double while he was out to pick up Joshua?_

“Uh… so, um, this is Joshua. Joshua, this is Benrey, my… work friend,” Gordon said. Joshua, who had been slightly hiding behind Gordon the whole time, finally peeked his head out from behind the scientist.

“hey, lil’ guy,” Benrey said, with a small smile. “uh, you can just call me benny if you want. it’s what all the cool dudes call me and, uh, you seem like a cool dude from - from what your dad’s told me.” Joshua watched them for a moment and then smiled and stepped out from behind Gordon.

“Okay, Benny!” Joshua chirped. “Do you like Animal Crossing? I need someone to help me with my island!” A big grin spread over Benrey’s face.

“hell yeah, lil’ man, love me some crossin’ animals,” they replied. “give me the grand tour an’ everything. i haven’t had a chance to play it much so you can show me the ropes.” Joshua nodded furiously and immediately threw himself on the couch, pulling his Switch out of the backpack he had been carrying.

Gordon watched quietly as Joshua booted up the game and explained where everything on his island was and Benrey just sat and listened. They nodded when Joshua explained who were his favorite islanders and watched with wide eyes when Joshua showed off his impressive museum collection (that Gordon had helped him obtain).

It was a pure, wholesome sight that Gordon couldn’t look away from. And it was fanning the flames of the feelings he still had for Benrey, the ones Gordon was trying so hard to will away. He had tried his damndest to distance himself from how he felt about the stupid former Black Mesa security guard, but watching them light up when Joshua showed Benrey that one of his villagers, Apple, was singing K.K. Bubblegum next to the plaza melted the wall he had put up inside of him.

“Hey, you guys cool with pizza for dinner?” Gordon casually questioned. He and Benrey had been eating take-out when they were by themselves most nights - save for when occasionally Benrey cooked dinner for the two of them, which the scientist appreciated more than he could say - but they hadn’t had pizza in a few days now.

“you buyin’ us pizza, freeman?” Benrey asked, looking up from Joshua’s game. “whatcha think about that, lil’ dude?” One look at his son and Gordon could tell Joshua was ready to explode from excitement.

“I want extra cheese, please!” Joshua said loudly as he immediately turned back to asking Benrey about where he should put the giant robot on his island. Gordon smiled at them and set about ordering their dinner.

* * *

“Benrey, for the last time, Chuck E. Cheese isn’t a restaurant, it’s an _entertainment center_ that happens to sell _food_ ,” Gordon sighed. “Are you just saying this to get me angry right now? It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve pulled this sh… I mean… stuff.”

“nah, chuck definitely runs a restaurant, my good man,” Benrey replied, chomping down on the last slice of pepperoni pizza. “yeah, there’s an arcade and prizes or whatever’s in a charles cheese, but there’s plenty o’ restaurants where, um, there’s an arcade but it’s still called a restaurant. uhh, checkmate.”

Even though Benrey was doing their absolute best (and succeeding) to annoy Gordon while the two of them and Joshua ate dinner, it was… really nice. When Gordon and Benrey ate, it was usually on the couch in the living room so they could watch something on TV while they munched. But since Joshua was over, they had decided to eat around the dinner table Gordon had set up in his kitchen.

“Man, I dunno what to say anymore,” the scientist said with his head in his hands. “I just cannot believe how wrong you are.” Joshua, who had just been happily eating his extra cheese pizza, was watching the two of them intently, his little head going back and forth between the two others at the table.

“uhhh, sorry my opinion is _totally_ better than yours, gordon,” Benrey fired back. At this, Joshua giggled, his little hands covering his face. Gordon watched him, his heart filling with warmth. He had been dreading Benrey and Joshie meeting on the entire car ride to and from his ex-wife’s place, but the time he had spent with the both of them had been… well, it had been amazing. 

And, as much as he really didn’t want to have feelings for Benrey, he couldn’t help it. They were cute and really sweet when they weren’t getting on his nerves and Gordon was a hopeless bisexual.

He would have said something by now, but he still wasn’t sure if Benrey felt the same way. Not to mention, Gordon was so goddamn scared to say something and fuck everything up and lose someone that was really special to him. It had happened in the past and Gordon was terrified for it to happen a second time. Plus, how would he be able to face Tommy and Coomer and Bubby? The five of them regularly did stuff together. It’d be so awkward and…

“Hey, daddy?” Joshua asked, breaking Gordon out of his reverie. “Can Benny stay here all the time?” The small boy was looking at Gordon was wide eyes and a giant smile. The scientist blushed furiously and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Benrey’s cheeks were dusted with color as well.

“W-Well, Joshie, Benrey’s gotta stay at their own place,” Gordon started, absentmindedly fiddling with his prosthetic hand. “But, I promise you I can invite them over whenever you’re visiting me, bud.” Joshua’s face fell slightly, but he nodded anyway. The feeling was like a hot knife sliding easily through Gordon's chest. 

In the week Benrey had been staying over, he discovered he actually didn’t mind living with them. They had fallen into a routine of eating meals and playing video games and watching stuff together. They had also spent a good chunk of their time hanging out with the rest of the science team. (Much to no one’s surprise, Bubby and Coomer had finally started dating and the duo had been hosting weekly dinners and game nights over at their house, which Gordon loved immensely.) 

Other than that, he had fallen into a nice life of domesticity with the guard who had totally tried to kill him. And Gordon had even actually thought of just asking Benrey to live with him permanently. Benrey had been actively looking for apartments, but a lot of the options were over Benrey’s funds. Not to mention, Benrey definitely _wasn't_ human - well, not _fully_ human, at least - and any official documents about them and their résumé looked sketchy at best.

“yeah, i’d love to come over an’ cross animals with you again, lil’ guy,” Benrey said. Their voice was cheery, but it sounded so hollow. Like there was no feeling behind it. Gordon considered for a second asking Benrey what was wrong.

“Oh, dang, hey, Joshie buddy,” Gordon said, standing up from the table and picking up all the trash from their dinner. “It’s almost time for you to go to bed. Can you do me a favor and go put on your jammies and brush your teeth?” Joshua nodded and made his way down the hall to the guest bedroom that Gordon had converted to a nice little bedroom for Joshua when it he got to spend the night. (The scientist had offered to let Benrey stay in there, but Gordon quickly realized that the former guard, who was a full-sized human, sleeping in Joshua’s kid-sized bed wasn’t gonna work and the two agreed that the couch was comfy enough.)

“you got a cute kid, feetman,” Benrey said, helping Gordon pick up their plates and dumping them into the sink. “guess cuteness runs in the family… o-or somethin’. i guess. uh, fuck, ummm, gottagobye.”

Gordon’s face began to feel like it had been lit on fire as he watched Benrey retreat into the bathroom. The scientist remembered he still had to go help Joshua get ready for bed so he made his way to his son’s bedroom.

And, one bedtime story about cowboys read to Joshua later, Gordon was in his bed, messing around on his laptop like he always did before he went to sleep. Looking back, it had actually been… a really good day. He hadn’t had any flashbacks the night before, the visions of his time back in Black Mesa had been minimal. And he got a day to spend with Joshua.

He drifted off to sleep, trying to think about how to approach telling Benrey how he felt.

* * *

Gordon had been asleep for what felt like five minutes when he heard sobbing from the guest bedroom. 

_Joshua_. 

He was having another nightmare. He had been having them more often than not lately…

The scientist's eyes darted to his alarm clock. The clock read just a little after two in the morning. Gordon shot out of bed and slid into a pair of slippers, not even worrying about sliding on his prosthetic, as he hurried over to Joshua’s room. But, by the time he had finished walking down the hall, he could hear something that definitely wasn’t the sound of his son crying. In fact, the crying had stopped and given way to a new sound.

It was the sound of singing.

The door to Joshua’s bedroom was opened just a crack and Gordon weakly nudged it open. Inside, he saw that Benrey was mostly turned away the door to the room, but Gordon could make out that they were crouched down next to Joshua’s bed. The air around the two were littered with small Sweet Voice orbs that started off yellow and turned into a light blue hue. The only light in the room usually came from Joshua’s nightlight, but, right now, the Sweet Voice orbs bathed the room with a yellow and blue glow.

Gordon stared at the sight in awe. And, if he wasn’t lying to himself, it was right then that he knew he was hopelessly, unashamedly, in love with Benrey.

“Daddy?” Gordon suddenly heard Joshua ask in a sleepy voice. The boy had sat up in his bed. The scientist watched as Benrey’s body tensed, the Sweet Voice faltering for a moment.

“um, nah, it’s your good pal, benny,” Benrey replied, their voice low and soft. “was still awake in the other room and i heard you crying. you want me to go, umm, get your dad?”

“Benny… I-I had a bad nightmare…” Joshua whimpered. His sobs had stopped, but he was still sniffling and hiccuping.

“it’s all right, lil’ guy. just listen to me sing an’ you’ll be alright. big ol’ benny’s gonna protect you, okay?” they replied. As Benrey let out a few more notes, the room filled with more Sweet Voice. Gordon had always thought Benrey's Sweet Voice to be fascinating, but in this instance, he loved it. He thought it was beautiful.

Gordon watched for a few more minutes and watched as Joshua slowly laid back down and closed his eyes. Within seconds, Gordon saw that his son’s chest rising and falling slowly, indicating that he had fallen back to sleep. Benrey pulled the covers back over the small boy’s figure. The Sweet Voice orbs still lingering fizzled out and vanished. Gordon crept back toward his bedroom, closing the door behind him as quietly as possible. As the scientist crawled back in bed, his mind was swarming with what to do next. He knew he had to talk to Benrey about… well, about everything.

He just wasn’t sure where to start.

* * *

_**Gordon (me)**_  
Tommy  
Sweet Voice turning yellow to some light blue color  
What does it mean

 _ **Tommy**_   
oh! that must be yellow to azure!  
yellow to azure means “you are safe and secure”!!!

 _ **Gordon (me)**_  
Holy fuck  
Thanks, Tommy

 _ **Tommy**_  
why did benrey say that, mr. freeman?  
mr. freeman?????  
(Read 5:40AM)

* * *

It was a little after ten in the morning when Gordon finally got back to his apartment after dropping off Joshua. When he got home, he saw Benrey drinking a cup of coffee while sitting at the kitchen table. Gordon shuffled into the kitchen and poured himself a mug too before taking a seat next to Benrey.

"Man, Joshua was talking about you the whole way back to his mom's place. He seems to really like you," Gordon said. Benrey's face lit up with a big smile, but they immediately caught themselves, looking away.

"yeah, no worries, i wanted to, like, make a good first impression," Benrey muttered, running their thumb over the rim of their coffee mug. "meetin' your, um, friend's kid is kinda a big deal. didn't wanna scare him. plus anyone that likes animal crossin' has good taste. better than _your_ taste in games, _feetman_." Gordon rolled his eyes. Benrey was never gonna stop giving him shit just because he liked more popular games instead of the garbage games and obscure titles they liked to play more often than not. At least they could agree on Street Fighter and Tekken being good series.

“Hey, by the way, thanks for taking care of Joshie last night,” he said after taking a big sip from his mug. Gordon bit his lip to keep from laughing at how much Benrey flinched when he said that. For someone who wasn't human and had some god-like powers, they hadn't noticed they'd been seen. “I was on my way to take care of him, but you beat me to it. I’m surprised.”

“i was just, um, playin’ tekken and his stupid cries were throwing me off my groove, you know how i get, feetman,” Benrey said, ducking their head down. 

“It was really sweet of you. I appreciate it a lot.” 

Benrey nodded and took another sip of their coffee. _God, Benrey could make even the most mundane tasks look cute…_

Gordon sucked in a breath. This had been the moment he had been internally freaking out about all while trying to go back to sleep and this morning while he was dropping off Joshua. He knew he had to get it out there. Gordon couldn't keep it in anymore.

“So, um, I’ve been doing some thinking and… would you wanna just, like, live here…with me? Like, permanently, Benrey?” Gordon asked a little too loudly. Benrey’s head whipped up from where they had been intently staring at their own legs, almost bumping the table in the process. They watched Gordon for what felt like an eternity through squinted eyes.

“you’re… not fuckin’ with me, right? ‘cause, um, if you are, ‘m gonna have to kick your ass, can’t get your good pal benrey’s hopes up like that,” they said. From the way they were fidgeting, Gordon figured that they weren’t gonna be convinced so easily.

“No, I, like, really mean it, dude,” Gordon said. He held his hands up in the air. “Laugh at me all you want, but I was a fuckin’ _Eagle Scout_ when I was a kid so when I say ‘scout’s honor’, I fuckin’ mean that shit. So yeah. Scout’s honor on this one.” 

There was a long pause, the air between them so thick it could be sliced in half. Benrey took the last sip of their coffee before standing up and taking their now-empty mug over to the sink.

“you don’t gotta say that shit, feetman,” Benrey said, their voice now having a slight edge to it. “i… i really fucked you up inside black mesa. why the fuck would you wanna live with me? you got brain worms or somethin’?” Gordon watched as their hands clenched slightly. They sucked in a breath and exhaled loudly, turning to look at the scientist still sitting at the table.

“you know where i was livin’, uh, before the whole cascade or whatever?”

“Uh, no.”

“i was living inside black mesa. i, um, knew about bubby an’ tommy an’ coomer. had seen them around and checked their passports sometimes, but didn’t really know them. even worse is that, uh, i don’t really remember my life before i was in their. there’s bits and pieces that are fuzzy, but i just kinda… woke up and was at good ol’ black mesa one day. an’ g-man told me i had just been hired to be a security guard. so i just kinda, like, went with it? it was all i could do,” Benrey explained. After they were done talking, Gordon noticed his jaw was hanging open a little. 

“Holy fuck, dude,” Gordon said after a few moments of letting his brain process what Benrey said. “Were you, like, a tube experiment like Bubby or something? Or is that something you don’t remember?”

Benrey shrugged. “nah, pretty, uh, pretty sure i wasn't a tube baby. but who knows? black mesa's gone, so unless g-man wants to tell me, and that's if that motherfucker even knows anything and won’t be cryptic as shit about it, so guess i’ll never know. gonna get me my own episode of unsolved mysteries, huh?”

“Yeah, maybe you’ll make it into the reboot on Netflix,” Gordon said, chuckling to himself. Silence hung between the two, Benrey now leaning against the sink and Gordon sitting at the table. The scientist pushed his way to standing up using his good hand and stood in front of Benrey.

“Hey, so, like, is that a yes or a no? You just kinda… deflected the question…”

“i mean, you really fuckin’ want me to stay? no, ummm, brain worms infectin' that big head of yours or nothin'?”

“Benrey, I wouldn’t have asked and made a big deal about this if I wasn’t serious. I feel like you should know that by now.”

“i wanna stay but, like, i don’t wanna fuck anything up, like, uh, i’m just worried if i stick around i’ll do somethin’ stupid an’ you’ll hate me.” Benrey was intently staring at the ground, kicking at the tiled kitchen floor. Gordon felt like if they focused any harder, a laser would shoot out of their eyes or something.

“Dude, I get that, but, save for hurting Joshua somehow, there’s not much left that I think you could do to make me hate you. Like, you had my hand cut off, for fuck’s sake.”

“but, um, what if i wanna do somethin’ like this?”

And then, Benrey took a step towards the scientist and before he could say anything else, Benrey’s lips were on his.

They were smoother and softer than Gordon had imagined them being. Gordon was going to kiss back, but the sudden affection (and the fact that Benrey had totally made the first move when Gordon had wanted to do that) were short-circuiting his brain. Before he could kiss back, the contact ended and then Benrey was pulling away and standing against the counter again, their hands trembling.

“god, i’m sorry, dude, i really thought that, um, you were gonna be ok with that, sorry if i overstepped, um, i didn’t…”

Gordon closed the distance between them again and kissed Benrey, tangling his real hand in their hair while his prosthetic sat limply against their side. Now, it was the former guard’s turn to be shocked. It took a moment but Benrey’s brain started to work again and threw their arms around Gordon’s neck, deepening the kiss. Benrey tasted like the coffee they had just finished, Gordon thought dumbly in the back of his mind.

Gordon was the first to break the kiss, his face red. Benrey’s face was practically overheated with how pink their cheeks were. Then, all of a sudden, pink to blue orbs tumbled out of Benrey’s mouth. The guard slapped their hands over their mouth to keep the bubbles from coming out, but Gordon could see dribbles of bubblegum pink and sky blue dripped from in between their fingers. The liquid Sweet Voice dribbled onto the floor and immediately faded.

“I really like you too, Benrey,” Gordon said with a wide smile.

“did fuckin’ tommy tell you? god, can't tell that guy anything secret...”

“Benrey, the first morning you were here, I noticed your Sweet Voice when you were in the kitchen and…”

“so you did see that… fuckin’ feetman, you’re a sneaky bastard, you know that? you’re banned from sneaking up on me, it’s cringe.”

“Well, I feel the same way, you fucking loser. Is that cringe?” Benrey didn’t respond, they only smiled. Gordon reached up and held Benrey’s face in his hands and deeply kissed him again. After a couple more seconds of kisses, they pulled away.

“you wanna, like, cuddle and play tekken or somethin’ now? and then maybe we could like… go out to dinner? as like a lil’ date? lil’ date with your boyfriend benrey? _boyfriend-rey_?”

Gordon let out a hearty laugh. “Oh, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

**Author's Note:**

> headcanon time!!!!
> 
> \- benrey is bi and nonbinary (uses they/them only)  
> \- gordon is bi (uses he/him)  
> \- i aged up joshua a little bit so hes in roughly first or second grade


End file.
